


It was not supposed to be this way

by pillowsempai



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, LawLu - Freeform, M/M, Monkey D. Luffy Needs a Hug, Mugiwara no Ichimi | Straw Hat Pirates, Nightmares, Post-Wano Arc (One Piece), Trafalgar D. Water Law Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26901970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pillowsempai/pseuds/pillowsempai
Summary: [Post-Wano AU]Wano war is over. And with that, peace...Peace, really?What happens when the only thing you dream of is also the one keeping you awake? For two years, Luffy and Law haven't been able to see each other after all the trouble they made back in Wano.Things can change in two years. So do feelings.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Comments: 25
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so uh, first ever submission to ao3. Also first time writing in English, please be gentle with me??
> 
> I don't know when I'll post the following chapters, but it's going to be a rather short story created thanks to a prompt created by @traffyluffy (or @THOTFALGAR on Twitter choose your weapon)
> 
> Hmm, now. Enjoy~

He doesn’t know what to expect at this point. Maybe his lover got too focused on being the Pirate King. Maybe, Law, in fact, didn’t catch too much attention that he made Luffy forget about him.

They couldn’t have forgotten because they went both on one hell of an adventure. Kaido is finally dead. They saved Wano. That left marks on everybody, deep in their flesh and minds. Law and Luffy were both on the verge of death and every doctor left just fought alongside them to keep them alive. They woke up and fought to be in tip-top shape for the day they would meet each other and be in the center of a new hurricane.

They gave the world two years of peace. They gave their hearts two years of suffering. And today, Law finally gets to see Luffy one more time. 

“Oï! Toraooo!” Law hears in the distance.

His heart misses a beat. Here he is, as sunny as before. He feels his knees become weaker and weaker as the little one comes closer. His throat becomes dry when his eyes fill up with tears that will not fall. He will not let them. But Law is weak when it comes to Monkey D. Luffy.

In a blink of an eye, Mugiwara just stands by his side and tilts his head, as if he is waiting for something. Law comes back to the present moment.

“Uh. Hi, Mugiwara-ya.”

Luffy smiles. Oh, how he missed that smile of his, the one that makes his heart go faster. The dark-haired lifts the corner of his lips. Luffy continues:

“It’s been a while! I’m so happy to see you!” 

“Yeah, it’s been two years.” he replies dryly.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Torao.”

“Neither did you”

And then there was a silence. They would eventually stare and enjoy each other’s company. After all, it’s been two years. Two years of pain, silence, unsaid words, stress, but also hope. If anything, Luffy gave Law hope. Because he’s still alive. Because, hell, they’re both alive. 

But in two years, everything could have changed. Law is scared. He is scared to ask the question that will probably break him if the answer’s not what he expects. But as he takes a deep breath, he looks at the little sunshine he has just next to him. He loves him, for sure. He spent the last two years without him. Without touching him, seeing him. And his brain stops functioning properly as he comes closer to him, hiding his shaking hands in his pockets and says softly:

“Is it still me?”

Luffy looks up at him. They stand there, Law tensing up, waiting for his answer, anxiously. Luffy hasn’t made a single move yet. But suddenly, he sighs as he rolls his eyes.

“Stop giving me that face, Torao, c’mon! Aren’t you happy to see me?”

He hasn't heard him. Law thought he would but he didn’t. He just shakes his head. This isn’t the place and time, it seems. 

“So, what were you guys up to, during those two years? Being an Emperor and stuff? Though, I think it hasn’t changed anything, I bet!” he says as he just sit on a bench, swinging his legs.

“Well, rehabiliation wasn’t really a piece of cake but it went fine and after that, well…”

The surgeon stops there. _After that, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, how you were and if you were to call me one day, like you used to before Wano._

Luffy blinks while he looks up at him again.

“Y-You… You waited for me? For my calls, I mean?” Mugiwara asks.

Did he think out loud? Oof… And judging by his expression, Luffy is expecting an answer, patiently. Law sighs as he sits by his side, looking firmly at the floor. He doesn't want to look at him. He looks desperate enough not to say more. 

“Torao. Did you wait for my calls?”

“I―”

“Shishishishi! Answer me, I’m not gonna eat you!” Luffy laughs. 

Law sighs. Luffy isn’t going to let this question unanswered.

“I did.”

“Why didn’t you try to call? You knew I was fine!”

“I just―”

“Ok, I was just joking, I know you’re not the type of person who calls to check on people”

Ouch. This one hurts. Actually, the surgeon tried but he gave up as soon as he realized that he sounded like a desperate boyfriend. 

“Luffy-ya.”

There it is. As soon as Law calls him by his name, they both know the conversation becomes way more serious. Because it’s been two years. Because they missed each other, or so Law bets Luffy missed him. His heart beats like he ran a fucking marathon. _Get a grip, Trafalgar, you can do it_. He turns towards his mate.

“Is it still me?”

This time, he spoke clearly. The question is simple. Yet so hard to ask. His fear went back as his body tenses up again. The young boy next to him sighs.

“It has always been you.” Luffy declares, looking at the horizon. “It has always been since the day I met you. It has always been you in my head, shattering negative thoughts and cheering me up when I didn’t want to get up because I hoped to see you again. Because I thought you didn’t want to see me this lazy and sad and―”

“You were sad because you missed me?” Law chokes. He thought he was doing just fine!

“That’s the reason why I didn’t call you earlier. Because everytime I thought about you, not having news―” 

He tightens his grip on his trousers, clenching his teeth, looking at the floor. When he continues, his voice lowers, filled with sadness 

“I thought you were not going to answer me. I thought you were dead! And I-.. I couldn’t stand it! I just gave up on calling since… Since anxiety and sad thoughts we-were winning upon my will to hear from you.”

“Luffy…”

“And I needed it so badly!” he shouts while finally tears ran down his cheeks. “To hear from you again, so that we would meet… I just―”

Law comes closer to him, wrapping him in his arms. He didn’t care if anyone saw them right now. What mattered was Luffy. **His** Luffy. He cannot stand it. The boy is crying so loud, he hides his face in Law’s chest where he can probably hear his heart shattering to pieces.

“But I’m here now, Luffy-ya. I’m here. I won’t let you go. I’m sorry for everything you had to go through. I didn’t mean to.”

He lets him cry for what he thinks is maybe an hour, buried in his chest, while Law kisses his temple softly. He lets go when Luffy needs to and hands him a tissue. 

* * *

When he comes back, after throwing his tissue away, the Strawhat captain sighs and wipes away the remaining tears.

“I feel better now.”

“I’m glad. Luffy, I―”

“Don’t mention it. All that matters, is that you’re alive, I’m alive and we settled things down.”

“Did we, though? I hurt you when you needed support because I wasn’t capable of―”

Luffy frowns and cuts him off.

“Finish your sentence and I swear…”

Law sighs.

“All right, all right. But still, I feel guilty for what I’ve made you go through”

“Torao, I said that all that matters is that both of us are alive. Seriously, we’re finally meeting and you really wanna act like you did a bad thing when you didn’t have a single clue of what was happening to me because I didn’t call either and the newspaper was not helping you. Now, if you want to _please_ get your sweet ass up and follow me, I’m starving.”

Astonished, Law just opened his mouth in a cute little “o”. Then he shakes his head while getting up. Some things don't change, even after two years. 

Luffy takes his hand as if nothing happened. He smiles at his boyfriend and suddenly stops.

“Oh yeah, I forgot!”

Law blinks again, looking down at him. But as he turns his head towards his lover, he feels his lips meeting with his. His heart beats like he is on a fucking roller-coaster, but he feels good. He feels so damn good. He squeezes Luffy’s hand softly and loses himself into the kiss. 

"I missed you, baby." does he whisper as soon as they break the kiss. 

"I missed you too. I'm so relieved you're safe." 

Law steps back. Luffy frowns. Oh no, he's not gonna like what his lover has been trying to hide from him. To his surprise, the shorter one only gives him a look, clearly amused. 

"What? What's with that look, Mugiwara-ya?!" Law groans, annoyed with him. 

"Come on, I've known you for too long now, I know you by heart. What's the matter?" 

The surgeon is delighted but at the same time very angry at how easily can Luffy read his emotions and mind. _Fuck_. 

"Very well then, I think I can't just try to hide it from you, right?" 

"Well, you hate cats, so it definitely can't get your tongue" Luffy laughs. "You like tuna, though" 

Law notices he remembers his likes and dislikes but can't really focus on that. Actually, he's quite nervous. He bites his lip but Luffy catches him and takes him by the shoulder. 

"C'mon, you clearly want to say something. I promise I won't get mad, if that's your worry" Luffy says in a strange tone, keeping his smile. 

Law feels something's wrong. He feels this sensation growing deep in the back of his head. So he keeps his mouth shut. 

"Torao…" 

When did his voice became so sharp? The surgeon takes a step back, the hand on his shoulder going back to its initial place. He doesn't want to have eye contact with him. 

"Why don't you want to understand? It's relatively easy though" the voice murmurs, deep and cold. "You're naive and egoistic. Look at you, so desperate for my attention and –" 

Law covers his ears and closes his eyes. _Not again_ , he thought. Not that same speech again. Before Luffy can continue his sentence, he opens his eyes. 

* * *

That must be a joke, right? 

When he brutally comes back to reality, Law feels every muscle aching. He cannot move but he feels his body shaking in fear. In pain. In anxiety. 

_The hell??_

He recognizes the roof above him. He's in the infirmary of his submarine, right? He feels his heart pounding in his chest. And the same realisation comes in his mind, the one that makes him burst into tears.

It was all a dream. 

_Again_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter, not too long after the first one.
> 
> Thank you so much for the kind welcome, I really appreciate that. I cannot believe I got so much interactions on a first chapter and so much positive feedbacks!!
> 
> My beta-reader is busy for now, so it might be updated later :D
> 
> Enjoy~

\- Chapter 2 - 

Once again, he wakes up with the throat as dry as the desert's sand. With that pain that will not leave him. Not until he sees him again. That is, if he's still alive. Sighing, he turns his head towards his window. It's sunny outside. But he doesn't have the energy to move. Zoro tries to get him up and just train, Sanji tries to get him up rushing to the kitchen with delicious meat, Franky tries to get him up to see all the gadgets his cyborg body has. 

But they all failed to cheer him up. Because Luffy doesn't want to _act_ like everything's okay. 

It's been nearly two years. Two years of nightmares, and mental torture. He's tired. He's had enough. During the two last years, not even one call. He might have gone crazy by now if it's not him listening to all the vocal messages Law left, and reading his letters, falling into tears each and every time the surgeon said his name with his particular voice, soft and deep. 

He's a mess. He needs to find him. _Now._ He gets up, too quickly apparently because he feels dizzy. 

_Okay, first, meal. I bet Torao would kill me where I stand if he sees me like that._

At first, when he finally was cleared by Chopper, allowed to move freely and leave the infirmary, he just sat on the lion figure, silently. Waiting, patiently. But it only increased his crew’s worries.

His foot motions him to the kitchen where Sanji, surprised to see him finally getting up, burns his hand. He curses before welcoming Luffy with a small smile. 

"Hungry, Luffy?" 

"Gather everyone here. Right now." Luffy replies with a firm tone.

The cook takes a step back while looking at him and at how his eyes are filled with _something_. But he doesn't argue nor elaborate on this and leaves the kitchen. 

Luffy can hear him shout to everyone to come into the kitchen as he takes place around the table, leaving his straw hat on the table. "Captain's order". When he turns to the door, it is only to see Nami and Sanji coming back, the navigator clearly happy to see her captain getting back on track. She just sits at the table, her fingers playing with her hair. The rest of the crew comes in a few minutes later, the last one being Zoro, who wakes up from a nap.  
  
“What’s up, Luffy?” Zoro yawns.  
“Sanji, is lunch ready yet?” Luffy dodges the question his first crew member asked.  
“In a few minutes, be patient, Luffy”  
  
The cook goes back behind the counter and finishes the meal he was preparing.  
  
“Luffy, what’s wrong? Why did you call us? Are you okay?”

“I am. I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve put you through. I’ve had a hard time and I needed to be alone for a while.”  
“Don’t mention it, captain.” Robin cuts him. “We know sometimes you need to be alone with your thoughts.”  
  
Luffy nods but stays silent. 

For a minute, he sees Law, his elbow resting on the table, clearly annoyed. His hair finally going freely from his fur hat. Luffy remembers watching him intensely, trying to grave his face, his gray eyes, his tatoos, how rough his lips are, how he wants to kiss them but he can’t because they’re in public, and he wants to keep their relationship private. 

“―uffy? Luffy?”  
  
He shakes his head, blinking before looking at his crew. He looks down at the plate he has before him. His stomach growls with happiness at the sight and the smell. He has a small smile. When he wants to apologize again, Sanji cuts him off.  
  
“Eat, you idiot. It’s warm.”  
  
The brown-haired smiles, seeing the annoyed look on his cook’s face. He digs in quickly, at his crew’s delight. He nearly falls into tears at how delicious the meal is. How could he just let himself starve when he has one of the best cooks in the whole world?! 

He asks for a second round, and a third. When he asks for a fourth, Sanji gives Chopper a look. He shakes his head.

“You have to get your stomach used to eating a lot again, Luffy, you should stop here.”  
“But I can’t, it’s so delicious, Chopper!” does he fire back.  
  
The doctor sighs but lets him do as he wishes. He waves at Sanji to let him have a new round.  
  
“So, why did you call us?”  
“I want us to go find Torao”  
  
He puts his fork on the table and watches his crew. Usopp gulps but stays silent, Nami sighs, Robin smiles, Franky and Brook wait for the rest of his sentence. Zoro just stretches before answering him.

“You mean, that guy who put us in all this trouble?”  
“ _I mean_ , the one who saved me after everything that had happened with Ace. I need to see what’s his next move.”  
“But we’re no longer allies.” Robin points out.  
“I don't remember putting an end to our alliance." he replies sharply "And I want to know if he’s okay.”  
“You haven’t heard of him after Wano?”  
  
Luffy shakes his head.  
  
“No. For two years, I haven’t heard from him. Did you?”  
  
The crew stays silent. No. The Heart Pirates stayed very calm and discreet during this period. Nami frowns.  
  
“Plus, he has that suuuuuuuper submarine!” Franky declares while doing his super pose.  
“So, it’s settled then. I'll try to get in touch with him this afternoon, but I doubt it will work."

He finishes his sentence with little sadness in his voice. Luffy, if anything, is sad. His brain only works to expect one call. One opportunity to hear him. Nami catches the sadness in his eyes and sighs.

"I'll try to get in touch with their navigator, but I don't know if he's going to give me their current location."

"If he doesn't want to, then tell him we're still allies until told otherwise. And that I have unfinished business with Torao, so I _need_ to see him. The sooner the better." 

Nami nods, thanks Sanji for the meal and leaves the place, quickly followed by Zoro, who cannot care less about what is going on in Luffy's mind. 

Truly, Luffy does know he can count on his friends to cheer him or back him up but this time's different. So, he gets up, waves at Sanji and moves to go back to his bedroom but he's stopped by Usopp. 

"What is it, Usopp?" 

"I'm not sure trying to get in touch with him again is a good idea, Luffy…"

The captain lifts up a brow and turns to the sniper. 

"Why so? He's trust-worthy and he never turned his back on us, I don't see why we shouldn't contact him." 

Luffy crosses his arms, patiently waiting for his friend's answer. Usopp bites his lip before declaring:

"Don't you wonder why he nor his crew didn't contact us during the last two years? It's pretty simple, really. He's ditched us because we're no longer useful for him and –" 

He swallows hard when he sees Luffy changing his expression to an upset one. 

"Is that so?" 

"W-Well, that seems to be the case, don't you agree, Sanji?" 

The man sweats a lot. _Shit, Luffy can be really impressive when he wants to._ And the cook just shrugs, not really interested in the conversation the two have. 

"He would have told me, but you told me earlier that you didn't have any news from them. So, until told otherwise, he's still our ally and furthermore, he's my friend. _And he didn’t ditch us_ " Luffy's voice is angry but the captain manages to keep a decent tone. "Now, can I go back to my room so I can try to call Torao?" 

Usopp nods and lets him leave. 

Once outside, Luffy sighs. He walks back to his room where he used to share intimate moments with his lover. Where they would laugh, kiss, play games. Moments he wishes to share again with him. 

Nobody can make him smile like Law does. Nobody can make him scream and beg for more like Law does. Nobody can touch him the way Law does. 

But also, nobody can make him cry and sound desperate like Law does. He needs to hear him. Filthy words, kind words, angry words, Luffy cannot care less at this very moment. He _has_ to hear him. Or he’ll fall into madness.  
  
When he finally takes his Den Den Mushi, he becomes anxious, his head filled with “what if…?”. He bites his nail as the Den Den Mushi tries to establish the connexion between the two captains.  
  
 _Purupurupurupuru...Purupurupurupuru...Purupurupurupuru...Purupurupurupuru…_

* * *

He’s lost in his thoughts when the DDM* finally gets his eyes up.  
  
“Who’s there?”  
  
Luffy exhales. Someone answered.  
  
“I’m Monkey D. Luffy and I want to talk with your captain.”  
“It’s not possible” the voice fires back while the snail wrinkles its eyes.  
“Oï! We’re allies, you idiot! We’ve fought alongside and you’re telling me he cannot talk to me right now?!”  
  
The voice sighs.  
  
“It’s not that simple. He doesn’t need any more stress that he already has.”  
“What’s the matter with him?”  
“He’s depressed, and won’t talk about it, so I doubt he will tell you.”  
  
Luffy groans. Ok, that’s it, he’s had enough.  
  
“I want to talk to him. **Now** !”  
“You’re in no position to tell me what to do, I’m not your nakama!”  
“Come on, I really need to talk to him. Or at least tell him I’m alright and that we have unfinished business.”  
  
The voice sighs again. What’s his problem with not telling Law Luffy is doing fine?! The brown-haired feels the anger growing up.  
  
“ _Please_ ” he adds “Tell him I’m fine.”  
“But I ―”  
“Uh, I gotta go, ok? Please tell him, I’ll call again soon.”  
  
And with that he hangs up. Clenches his fist. Tries not to think about what the guy said to him. Tries not to keep his sobs in his throat but his eyes are already filled with tears.

 _He barely talks. He’s depressed. But he’s awake and alive. Better than nothing._ He tries to reassure himself.  
  
A few knocks to his door slips him back into reality. He takes a deep breath before answering.  
  
“Come in!”  
  
Nami enters, a concerned look with her captain.  
  
“Sorry to interrupt but I got news for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DDM: stands for Den Den Mushi (I'm too lazy too write it entirely lmao)
> 
> I cannot tell you when the next chapter will be published, but I'll do my best! :D
> 
> Find me on Twitter @/pillowsempai 
> 
> Pillow


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, I'm a mess because #ZEVENT2020 just finished in France and I'm so emotional about it (check the hashtag on Twitter if you want more info)
> 
> It's 1:30am, I just finished the chapter 15 minutes ago, I'm sorry if it's full of mistakes, I'll correct them all later!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy... uh, probably not. Unless..? *hides*

\- Chapter 3 - 

_A few weeks later…_

He hears the door opening behind him and he closes his eyes. Leaning on the bed, showing his back to anyone who enters the room. The only thing he knows is that they went back to the surface. And honestly, Law couldn't care less. 

The only thing he needs is a voice. Luffy's voice. His eyes burn from being dry. He has cried for a while now. His stomach hurts. His whole body hurts. But the surgeon barely moves. He doesn't care. The only food he needs is Luffy. His smile. His eyes. His arms. 

_The way he will shout because I'm nothing but a mess_. 

He finally opens his eyes only to meet Bepo's. The polar bear is the only one he cannot worry without feeling guilty. That's why he gets up slowly, sitting in bed. 

"Cap'tain, _please_ , this needs to stop. Your body won't be able to endure this any longer…"

"Bepo, we already had this conversation yesterday, and the day before, and the day before… I swear I'm doing fine."

"No, you're not! You barely take care of your own self!" 

The captain sighs. And so what? Why does it matter so much to his friend? It's not like he's gotta survive for anything now. Nobody would miss him. 

"Think about what Luffy would do when he sees you" Bepo tries to convince him "You've got to eat" 

"I'm gonna act like I didn't hear that" Law murmurs while grabbing the fork. He digs in and his stomach is happy about that. "Anyway, why are we on the surface when I didn't asked for it?" 

The navigator gulps at the question. Law eyes him silently. Bepo lost some fur, slept really bad and the surgeon wouldn't be surprised if the bear has nightmares like he does. Once he finishes his meal, he drinks. One after the other, he lost count of how many glasses of water he has. Maybe three, maybe four on a row. He doesn't care. 

Bepo smirks a little seeing him drinking a lot. 

"The guys are waiting for your instructions"

"Instructions? Well, it seems you took care of the operations for me. I need to rest now. You may leave."

When Bepo leaves, Law just falls back onto the pillow and looks at the ceiling. Now, he's no longer the captain of his own crew, it seems. Now, he's only a shadow of the man he used to be. Now he's the one to be pampered.

And he hates that. He hates the attention everyone seems to give him. Makes him want to puke. He's disgusting. He's the one who would normally look after the others because he's a doctor. Clenching his teeth, he closes his eyes. Pathetic. 

But then, sounds come to him, from behind the door. One voice seems to be angry. Very angry. 

_Probably one of my crewmates being angry at Bepo for not being able to make me get up from bed. Fuck them. They don’t know what it would feel like._

“Oï, I’m entering the room!” says a voice.

Law doesn’t care, he only needs sleep right now. He’s not in the mood to confront his crewmates, not now. So he just fakes sleeping so that they would leave him alone. He doesn’t want to hear a thing. 

What he doesn’t realize is that the person standing right behind his back is actually a young male with a straw hat. Who, apparently, freezes and loses his smile as soon as he sees his lover just laying in his bed sheets he didn’t change for at least two weeks. His voice gets stuck in his throat as he discovers the bandages all over Law’s body, on his arms, his waist, his neck, and probably there are some on his knees.

Bepo told him not to come in, but he didn’t listen. He should have. His eyes are filled with tears, and his body with anger and guilt.

Nami told him they would meet the Heart Pirates because the crew seek medical assistance for their captain. When he rushed towards the Polar Tang, so eager to finally see his lover, he did not expect _that_. He lowers his head, putting his straw hat on his head, hiding it and then leaves, slamming the door as rage rushes through his veins.

That can’t be, right? That can’t be his lover, laying nearly lifelessly on this bed. That can _not_ be. 

Bepo turns to him. 

“I told you not to come in… I’m sorry…” Then he turns to Chopper “He’s been like this for months already and it got worse a few weeks ago. As your captain saw, he barely talks nor eats. As if he lost ―”

“Shut up.” Luffy replies darkly. “He’s not losing the will to live. He’ll recover. Chopper, I’ll let you handle it alongside them. Keep me updated.”

“Luffy, he probably won’t―” The words get stuck in Chopper’s mouth as he eyes Luffy. 

“He’ll recover. Because you’re one of the best doctors in the world. I’m counting on you.”

He leaves the place. He needs air. Fresh air that punches his cheeks. His brain is no longer functioning correctly. And he sees them again and again and again. The blood, the bandages, the thinness of Law’s body. 

He can’t. He _fucking_ can’t. Luffy did not wait for him for nothing. He can't lose. He goes back on the Sunny, hearing Franky being excited about the submarine. He wishes he had the energy and joy left, but right now, the only thing Luffy can think of is that image continuously in his head. 

_Law doesn't even move to see him._

_Law doesn't want to see him._

_Law ignores him_. 

He sits on the figure, the place where he finally reconnects with reality and doesn't succomb to his rage. Cross-sitting, he inhales and exhales a few times before opening his eyes. Everything's not fine, but they're going through this and they will sort things out.

* * *

Finally, he's alone. He moves on his back, facing the ceiling. That's when the door opens again. 

"Whoever enters the room, just _fucking_ leave me alone!" 

"Ah, great, you're still awake!" 

Law blinks. Once. Twice. That voice… Suddenly, a little reindeer jumps on the seat Bepo was sitting on previously. 

"Tony-ya, what are you doing on my submarine?"

"We called you and Bepo said you needed medical assistance. So here we are." 

"Medical assistance? But–" 

"Don't try to lie. From what I see, you need healing" 

Law lifts up a brow.

"W-Wait! That means Lu- I mean, Mugiwara-ya's here too?" 

There's a silence during which Chopper just sighs before answering:

"Of course, we're still allies after all! Now let me take a look at your wounds." He takes a pen and writes on a sheet of paper while muttering "From what I see, you've got a severe sleep deprivation, you're dehyrated, you're not eating… May lead to eating disorders, I shall prevent that from happening… " 

"Allies…" 

He's lost in thoughts again. _Allies_. He should not be surprised or hurt, but he is. Chopper searches for his stethoscope in his kit and puts it on, checking briefly on Law.

“Breathe in deeply.” he asks.

“I’m fine, Tony-ya.” Law exhales, annoyed.

“You are not. Your navigator told us you were barely eating. So, _excuse me_ , but you’re not fine. As a doctor, I can’t let this aggravate. Can I see your wounds?”

Law lifts up his shirt, obedient and takes off all his bandages. Chopper takes some more notes as the surgeon gets up to clean them.

When he sits back, the dark-haired runs a hand across his face. And then he tenses. For Chopper tightening fresh bandages around his wounds and for realizing something. Something really important. Like his mind is functioning correctly _for once_. 

“That means he saw me being a mess. Right?”

Chopper eyes him, not sure if answering him is the right thing to do. But seeing the look on Luffy’s face before… 

“Yeah. He saw you. I don’t know what’s running in his head but what I can tell you for sure, is that during two years, he was in the same state of mind as you are now. I can tell without making a mistake that right now he blames himself and is really unhappy about seeing you like this.”

“Blames himself?” Law repeats.

“Stop moving, I can’t check your tension.” Chopper checks on his tensiometer “Yeah, you know how he is. But I guess there’s something else... _Right_?”

“None of your business.” 

Chopper sighs but just notes the measures on his sheet. 

“Look, I don’t care what’s between you two, but if you ever hurt Luffy, be prepared for Zoro and Sanji coming for you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Thanks for the reminder.”

Chopper puts his equipment back in his kit and tells Law instructions on how to take care of his wounds but he doesn’t listen, he already knows how to do so.

“Oh yeah, if you can come and see Luffy since we’re here, make sure to clear the situation between you two. Once you're cleared that is.”

"Count on that, Tony-ya" 

And _finally_ he's alone. Trying to process all the info he received. 

1\. Luffy and his crew are here for him. 

2\. Luffy is sad because Law's a mess. 

3\. Luffy feels guilty because of Law's state. 

4\. His Luffy is _fucking_ angry. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mentions of mutilation and self-destructive behavior.

**Chapter 4**

What now? Should he stay on this island and wait endlessly for his boyfriend to show up? Clearly, that plan pisses him off. What pisses him more is that the Heart Pirates didn’t call earlier. That  _ he _ didn’t call earlier.    
  
It’s been a few days since they met and landed on an island and Luffy’s already bored and impatient. The only thing he knows from Chopper is that his ally is recovering pretty well, the only thing remaining is the wounds but he thinks they will just heal perfectly. Because Law is not an idiot.   
  
So here he is again, on Sunny's figure, waiting impatiently for Law to come out of his submarine. He wasn’t expecting him to be in tip-top shape, to be honest, but that conversation cannot wait any longer. Luffy will force Law to confront him. Because things need to be said.   
  
“Luffy!”   
  
He turns his head, eyebrow lifted. What now? 

"Now that you saw Law's going to be alright, can we please go? What if the Marine comes for us?" 

The captain rolls his eyes at a pretty exhausted and stressed Usopp. For real, the Marine isn't what bothers him for now. He does not respond immediately to the sniper but does nonetheless. 

"...I have to know where he's heading next" 

"Luffy, he's no longer our ally, c'mon, let's go already!" 

"Nope." 

Luffy lowered his voice, making it even more dangerous and sharp than before. 

"Until I said so, Torao's our ally. And since I know where Barty and the others went, I need to know where he is going." 

Something was wrong, Luffy knew it. He would not stay there now that he knew Law's going to recover. 

He sighs and stands from Sunny's figure, ready to go back inside when he freezes. 

He blinks. Once. Twice. His whole body shakes. 

_ Are you fucking kidding me?  _

"Hey." 

Trafalgar D.  _ Fucking _ Water Law is here, a small grin on his face, hands in his pockets. Covered in bandages but here. 

That's where everything gets mixed up in Luffy's mind. Anger, relief, joy… 

"Torao!!" 

… Well it should have gotten mixed up. Luffy rushes to him, smiling like an idiot, a giant smile on his face, which makes Nami choke on her drink. It's been a while since the Mugiwaras saw such an apparent sincere smile on their captain's face. It’s been  _ forever _ since Law saw a smile on his sunshine.   
  
“How are you feeling? Your crew told me they needed medical assistance when I called them, so here we are!”   
“I know, they told me, Mugiwara-ya. I’m doing pretty fine now, thanks to your doctor’s assistance. Say, I forgot to change my bandages, wanna follow me so we can talk about what’s next?”   
“Sure thing, lead the way.”   
  
He’s so sunny, so happy.  _ Jesus _ , Law has to keep his hands in his pockets. Though pretty much everyone’s been aware that something was going between the two captains, he likes to think not everybody of both ships knows he has a hard crush on the little ball of sunshine next to him. When they go back to the Tang, they head right to the captain’s cabin.   
  
Right when Law closes the door, Luffy clears his throat and loses his smile. Law isn't really surprised. And now, they face each other. And now it’s time. And Luffy’s expression changes to an angrier one.    
  
“Luffy, listen, I know I should have called earlier but–”   
“But you didn’t.”   
“Because I was pretty much depressed and–”   
“So was I.”

  
  
Cold tone. Crossed arms. Law looks at him.  _ Fuck _ .    
  


“I was depressed. I led myself to starvation, to sleepless nights, to mutism. For calls that you didn’t bother to make. Because you didn't  _ care _ while I did."

And there's a pause in Luffy's speech, and Law doesn't know what to say. His heart is beating so fast. Everything's out of his control.

"Two years."

"Luffy, I couldn't bear the thought of your crewmembers answering telling me that you're fucking dead, because, god, it would have killed me as well!!" 

He shouts. Law's throat hurts now, and somehow he regrets shouting at his lover. But Luffy needs to know about how he felt back then. To understand why he did not call. Law is still fucking scared to lose him. He is shaking.    
  
“ _ It would have killed _ you _ as well, _ huh? It would have killed you to call, just to check? And what if I was dead?”   
  
“But you’re not, Luffy. Listen, I was scared, ok? I was really scared. After everything we did in Wa, after I learned you left Wa dying, I felt so guilty not being able to take care of you myself…”

“You would not have because you don’t care about me, you egoïstic bastard!”   
  
There it is. The things Law wanted to avoid. The words he didn’t want to hear again. Every person he let in his life left after saying words like this.   
  
_ You’re egoist. You’re heartless. I don’t mean anything to you _ (when in reality, they meant  _ something _ ).  _ Die. I hate you.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ It’s not supposed to be this way. _ That’s what he said before he and Luffy parted ways on Onigashima. When Luffy said that this would be the last time they’re seeing each other, Law answered this with a smirk, keeping his thoughts to himself. That’s when his heart shattered to pieces and he really felt that was the last time he would more likely see Luffy. Maybe that was the last time…    
  
Now he regrets. He regrets not telling Luffy the feelings. He regrets not spending enough time with him. He regrets not spending his nights with him, saying words only he would hear and understand. He regrets and now he’s paying the price.

"Listen, Luffy, it's not supposed to be this way." he literally  _ begs _ .   
“Then which way is  _ all this _ supposed to go? Where does it lead us?!"

Law's words are stuck in his throat. His vision blurs.  _ Not him.  _

" ANSWER ME, LAW!" Luffy shouts at him while pinning him to the wall. “WHY DID YOU NOT CALL ME?!”   
  


His eyes are filled with anger, when Law's are filled with fear and tears.    
  
“I didn’t call because I was scared, I told you. I was scared to learn you passed away. I’m scared because of what I made you do. I’m a fucking idiot and I know that, I spent days telling me I was an idiot because calling would have been the only thing preventing me from… From…”   
  
“From?” Luffy frowns.   
“You won’t let me go away with it, right?”   
“I want answers, Law. You’ve…”    
  
He lets go from the wall and lets his hand ruffle his black hair while playing with the string of his straw hat, trying not to get angry and yell at Law again.   
  
“You’ve disappeared from my life during all this time and you expect us to get along like we used to before all this? You expect me to accept your silence? I thought  _ we _ meant something to  _ you _ .”   
“And we do mean something! Hell, Luffy, I injured myself because I was so pathetic for not calling you earlier!”   
  
And there it was. Law’s panting heavily and Luffy’s looking at him.   
  
“You…”   
“I know I should have called, I know, ok? I-I punished myself because I didn’t have the guts to call you. That’s why I haven’t fully recovered. I felt so guilty and miserable, not being able to just make a simple call…”   
  
He whispers the last part, ashamed. He tries to contain the tears. Luffy does not talk. 

_ Probably too much to handle right now. Proving him I’m an ass after all this time spent together… _ _  
_ _  
_ In reality, Luffy realises Law suffered as much if not more than him. And this makes him calm down.  _  
_ _  
_ “Ok, let me rephrase it: You injured yourself because  _ you _ felt miserable not calling me. So you  _ knew _ you could call me to end all of this?”   
“Yes. I tried to end all this but I guess I’m more comfortable with being in endless pain.”   
“Idiot. That doesn’t help whatsoever. You could have killed yourself!”

"I would have if you were dead" 

_ Slap _ . Law crossed the line. Luffy clenches his fists. 

"Trafalgar D. Water Law, I swear to the worst hell ever that if you ever do that because of me, I will come and find you just to beat the shit out of you. Injuring yourself is not a solution. It makes the problem even worse." 

Law hears Luffy mutter "I don't want anyone to die for me".

“Couldn’t have said better myself” Law smirks. “Say I really need to change my bandages, may I ask you to give me a hand?”   
  
Luffy nods, still disturbed at what his lover told him. Lover that is taking off his shirt and  _ fucking hell. _ Sure he’s handsome, a Greek god, but all those bandages. The Strawhat captain can’t tell if those are provoked by Law himself for not calling or if those are stigmatas of Wa. It looked better - he’ll need to thank Chopper for his efficiency - but still.   
  
“Woh, your tattoo looks…”   
“Infected, yeah I know, my tattoo artist will kill me when I come back to ink all of them again. I deserved it somehow.”   
“Law, you could have killed yourself, look at your back, oh my god, it looks awful. Why did you come to such an extent?”   
“Because it’s supposed to go this way. From the day I lost my parents to the day I woke up and realized I had probably lost you.”   
“Law, you’re an asshole for hurting yourself and I hate you for that.”   
“I know. I hate myself as well. But I guess that can’t be helped. Pain makes me  _ feel _ .”   
“And what about me, then?” Luffy asks, patting his back with a cotton pad imbibed with alcohol.   
  
Law curses, feeling the pain, the good old pain rushing through his body. He’s sweating hard but he knows it’s for his own good.   
  
“Luffy…”   
“What?”   
“I love you. And I’m so glad I got someone like you to heal me and prevent me from self-destroying. ”   
  
Luffy almost lost his cotton pad.   
  
“Don’t say such silly things, Torao, that doesn’t suit you.”   
“I mean them. I really do.”   
“Wow, going from  _ I’m an asshole abandoning my boyfriend _ to  _ I love you from the bottom of my heart, please don’t leave me _ pretty quick, if you ask me.” he teases   
“Shut up.”   
  
And Luffy laughs. Oh sure he didn’t forgive, but considering the fact Law hurt himself for that was enough for now. Considering he was still here, after all. Considering he still loves him. 

After all the cleaning, they bandage him up again. 

"You look like a mummy." Luffy says. 

"Well, it's still less bandages than before thanks to Tony-ya. Oh and Luffy?" 

"Yep?" 

"I'm sorry for acting like this and making you worry as hell, I'm sorry. I want you to–" 

He never gets to finish his sentence. Luffy takes a step back and grins, and Law feels like the sun is never gonna set anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, okay, I know it's not the best ending to it, I know, but that was my first attempt at writing and posting LawLu (in English) At first, they were supposed to break up, so yeah I changed my mind, as you can see.
> 
> Sorry for bad grammar, there might be some mistakes I forgot to correct. Hope you liked the smol story with them.  
> Next: LawLu Week 2020 prompts! :D
> 
> Find me on Twitter: @pillowsempai if you wanna simp on Trafalgar Law.
> 
> Happy birthday to me (yay). Lots of love.


End file.
